Relationships are built on trust, that firm belief we have in one another that makes us feel safe, bonded, and secure with each other. And just as we need trust in our relationship with God, we also need to be able to trust the people He places within our lives.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and many times that trust can be tested, tried and even broken when we choose to be untruthful, hide something from someone, or choose to walk away from that person who truly needs our support, and was totally depending on us.
The times we find out that we’ve been lied to, the situations that reveal a truth that was never known to us, or when we discover that something we believed in just isn’t true anymore, are just a few of the circumstances that can break those bonds of trust.
All that we felt so confident and assured in is now being questioned, swallowed up in doubt, confusion, and hurt.
We feel wounded and betrayed, so we put up walls to protect ourselves, walls to keep out others that “might” shatter our trust again, believing that this is the way to never be hurt again.
My first marriage ended because of adultery, and adultery robs you of every bit of trust that you ever had. The person you “trusted” with every part of your being, has broken every strand of that chord that you believed was so tightly woven. If they could do this to you, than anyone could, and not only do you lose trust in everyone else, you also lose trust in yourself; your judgement, perspective and all you believed in.
But if we allow those who have broken a trust with us, to consume our minds with fear and apprehension and tell ourselves that no one is trustworthy, we close ourselves off from everyone, because there is no place of trust in our hearts to have true relationships with anyone.
This wall we build will cause more damage than good, for not only does this fortress keep out that which “might” harm us again, it blocks off the opportunity to heal, move on and trust anyone at all again.
So how do we gain back our trust again, once it’s been washed away? It’s a choice we make to walk through forgiveness, letting go of what hurt us, and asking God for His understanding in each situation to help us to trust again.
When trust is broken blatantly & intentionally, we still have to forgive to move on, and this kind of broken trust will severe a relationship forever. But most times when trust is broken, it’s not done from a place of personal intention to harm another, but more likely than not, it comes from a place of unspoken expectations and misunderstandings.
Regaining trust to restore the relationships with those who have harmed or broken that bond, takes an open and honest conversation, time for the hurt to heal, and patience to rebuild that trust again.
Once we understand why that trust was broken, we can work towards rebuilding a new and closer relationship with that person.
Don’t let those who have broken your trust, prevent you from building relationships with the wonderful people that God brings into your life to have true relationship with.